


Something To Live For

by PewDiePie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Character Death, Depression, F/F, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Masochism, Loneliness, M/M, Multi, NaruSasu - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painful Sex, Saving a Life, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-10-15 00:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PewDiePie/pseuds/PewDiePie
Summary: Sasuke feels like life just isn't worth living. Naruto wants to change that.❦『warning: mentions of depression and suicide』





	1. One

'Why…'

He opened his tired eyes, remembering the dream he'd just had. The rough waves of the ocean had swept him away. He remembered himself drowning, but not fighting it. He had wanted it.

'Why am I still… alive…?' He wondered.

He sat up, the soft light of the sunrise coming in through his window and illuminating his pale face. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up.

The dream he'd had last week also involved him dying somehow, yet he didn't mind it. It was odd. The dream he'd had a couple nights after involved someone saving him.

Perhaps this was just a sign that he shouldn't be alive after all. That's what he thought, in any case.

To him, life was just pointless anyway. He would be okay with taking his own life. It didn't matter to him. His life wasn't important to him, and his brother would be fine without him. Where was the problem?

He'd decided he'd do it.

Sasuke brought his knees to his chest, staring out the window as he thought about his decision.

—

He stood at a cliff.

He wasn't going to kill himself, at least, not yet. He was just inspecting the water, the height of the cliff, and so on.

There was something about this place that seemed fitting for a suicide to him. He felt almost at peace here, for the first time in a long time.

He didn't want to feel they way he did anymore. Angry, depressed and lonely. And hateful, especially towards himself. He hadn't felt real happiness since he was a child.

His brother tried to make him happy, and tried to love him, but Sasuke knew Itachi blamed him for their parents' death. It really was Sasuke's fault though, so his brother wasn't exactly wrong.

When he was seven, Sasuke had been distracting his parents while the three of them were in the car and they got into a terrible accident. Sasuke somehow survived though, but was pretty injured. His brother wasn't in the car that day.

The two boys had stayed with their grandfather, Madara and uncle, Obito (who actually was only a couple of years older than Itachi), until Itachi was eighteen. Itachi took Sasuke and they moved out; Madara got scary when angry.

That was also how Itachi met his future boyfriend. Kakashi was Obito's best friend, and he came over a lot (he was only a year younger than Obito, too).

But Itachi had distanced himself from Sasuke, trying not to blame him.

Sasuke felt unloved, and that turned into anger, loneliness, depression and hate towards himself, because he knew Itachi was right. Hell, he even blamed himself.

Sasuke sat down on the edge of the cliff, feeling the cool breeze on his skin. He felt as if someone was nearby, watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He stood up, nodding. "Next week," he murmured to himself. That's when he'd come back here. That's when he'd kill himself.

He felt that, perhaps, somewhere far beyond this world, he'd feel nothing anymore. That is what he wanted.

He wanted everything to just stop.

—


	2. Two

The sky was murky, as was the water. Gray, monochromatic, and dull, and yet almost angry and sad, much like Sasuke's life. Everything blended together; he couldn't tell where the ocean stopped and the sky began.

It was a particular windy day, and the waves of the ocean were rough. A storm was coming. No doubt about it. And so there he stood, on the edge of the cliff he planned to jump off of. This would be his end. This would be the day he took his own life.

He was okay with that.

Sasuke just didn't enjoy life. To him, life wasn't worth living. To him, life was meaningless. He wanted to die, and he was prepared to do just that. Sasuke looked down at the water below, nodding. This was what he wanted.

Right?

His dreams made it all clear to him. He was supposed to do this. He was supposed to take his own life and then he'd be free. And he would do it, and no one would give a damn about poor Sasuke Uchiha and his untimely death.

He closed his eyes and stretched out his arms, ready to fall. This was it. He leaned forward ever so slightly and–

"Hey!! You!!"

Sasuke opened his eyes, confused, his arms dropping a little. He turned around slightly to see someone there, behind him.

"Don't do it, please!"

It was a blond boy, bent over, trying to catch his breath. "Please… I'm begging you…"

"Who are you…?" Sasuke asked softly. "What are you doing here?" The boy didn't answer. "What do you want?"

The blond boy looked up, eyes full of worry and concern. "None of that matters," he said, daring to move closer. "What matters is your life. Please don't kill yourself or hurt yourself in any way."

Sasuke was taken aback. "Why not?" He snapped, eyes narrowing. "It's my life. I'll take it if I want to. What does it matter to you anyway?! You don't even know me nor my reasons! I don't even know who you are!"

The blond smiled sadly and it began to rain. "Even so, your life is important. You shouldn't act like it doesn't matter. I want you to stay alive."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed further. "Like I said before, you don't know me. How could you possibly care?"

The boy shrugged, smiling. "I don't know, honestly. Something just tells me that you're someone that has to stay here in this world for a while longer. Something tells me that I should get to know you, and now I want to know you. So please…"

Sasuke's eyes softened a little. He felt something spark inside of him, but he couldn't be sure of what it was.

"You're so stupid," Sasuke then said, eyes narrowing again before he sighed. The smile fell from the boy's face then. "Don't you get it? Life isn't worth living for me. I don't want to be here anymore."

The boy looked saddened. "If you stay… even if I don't know you… I'll do my utmost to make you happy. I'll be here for you always. I'll be your friend. I'll change your mind."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, sighing once again. "You know," he murmured, and the blond perked up slightly. "You really sound ridiculous right now." The boy frowned and Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, will you just leave me alone? It's my choice."

The blond seemed to get upset by that. "But I don't want you to die, because I want to see you again. What's your name?"

"Why the hell does it matter?" Sasuke asked softly, shifting from one foot to the other, staring at the wet ground.

The boy narrowed his eyes slightly. "I just want to know your name so when I see you again–"

"But you don't really know if you'll see me again after today. If I leave here today, I'll still end my life, one way or another."

"Just shut up and tell me your damn name!"

"Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense…"

The blond's eye twitched once, but he tried to remain calm. "You know what I mean. Tell me your name."

"Whatever," Sasuke uttered defeatedly, sighing, crossing his arms. "But yours first."

"Oh, right," the blond murmured, stepping closer and smiling sheepishly. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. You?"

Sasuke frowned, taking a small step back. "I'm… Sasuke Uchiha."

The boy, Naruto, offered his hand to the raven, smiling. "We should get out of this rain," he said, waiting for Sasuke to take his hand, but the raven didn't. Sasuke only walked right past him, but stopped once Naruto turned around. "Where are you going, Sasuke?"

Sasuke did not turn around. "Goodbye, Naruto," he murmured almost inaudibly before he began to walk away.

Naruto ran in front of Sasuke. "Hey, don't leave, I want to get to know you."

"Why?" Sasuke asked softly, although he was irritated. "Besides, I don't want to get even more soaked than I am already."

"Because I want to be your friend."

"Why? Why is that so important? Why won't you leave me alone so I can just die in peace?" Sasuke pushed past Naruto then.

Naruto sighed sadly. "Because," he declared, stopping Sasuke in his tracks. "I want to give you something to live for."

Sasuke's lips parted briefly before he frowned yet again. "Fine."

Naruto smiled. "Let's go somewhere that's dry though."

Sasuke barely nodded and Naruto lead him away to his car. The two got in and Naruto began driving.

"Want to go to my place?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke just looked at him.

"I barely know you," the raven said yet again, eyes widened slightly. "You could be some head case or a psychopathic sadist that wants to kidnap and torture me or something."

Naruto chuckled. "Well, that's true," he replied. "But I'm definitely not, I swear. And my parents will be there, so it's not like we'll be alone or anything. I'm just not sure where else to go."

"Why are you even doing this?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

"Hm?" The blond looked at the one beside him, a bit confused.

"Why are you bothering with a person like me? I'm not interested in living, so why are you trying to keep me alive?"

Naruto looked away, frowning sadly before he smiled brightly. "Look, none of that matters. All that matters now is I'm going to be your friend, and I'm going to change your mind about dying, okay?"

Sasuke stayed silent, watching as the rain began to stop.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I really like this fic. I'm aware it kind of seems a bit rushed, but I didn't want this fic to be a oneshot so...


	3. Three

They arrived at Naruto's home a little bit later. It was getting late, and the sky began to clear up.

When the two walked in, Sasuke noticed a red headed woman cooking what appeared to be dinner, a blond man sitting at the table, reading a newspaper, and a white haired man and blonde woman also sitting at the table, talking with smiles on their faces.

"Naruto, honey, welcome h—" The red haired woman began, cutting herself short as she noticed the raven following her son into the house. She set the frying pan down and stepped towards her son and the other boy. "Naruto, who's this?"

Naruto offered her a smile. "New friend," he said shortly, not bothering to elaborate.

The woman narrowed her eyes slightly at her son. "But what's his name?" She asked then, hoping to get some kind of real answer. Naruto didn't really bring home friends anymore.

"It's Sasuke, Mom," Naruto sighed, grabbing Sasuke's wrist after taking off his shoes. He headed for the stairs, but his mother stopped him.

"How did you two meet?" She inquired, smiling a bit.

"Kushina," the blond man at the table chuckled. "Leave the boy alone."

"She's just excited, Minato," the white haired man laughed, before his laugher died and he frowned. "Son, the kid hasn't brought home a friend in a while you know. Perhaps she was worried he hadn't gotten over what happened with his last real best friend."

"Shut up, Jiraiya, don't let Naruto hear you," the blonde woman whisper-shouted, smacking her husband's arm.

"Alright, Tsunade, don't get so upset," Jiraiya told her, chuckling a little, and Tsunade calmed down a bit, but not without glaring at the man beside her first.

Naruto's father let out a sigh. "I know Kushina was worried," he murmured, setting the paper down. "Frankly, I worry about Naruto all the time, but he does need his space."

"Understandable," Jiraiya said quietly, looking over at Kushina.

Kushina stared at her son and the boy he was with. There was something about this boy that worried Kushina. He gave off a depressing vibe. She didn't like it. It felt too familiar.

"We're going upstairs to get dried off," Naruto told her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "We'll be back down for dinner in a minute. Promise."

She could only nod helplessly as the two made their way up the stairs. She stood there a moment, frowning.

Suddenly there was arms around her waist and lips on her cheek. She smiled at her husband, who hugged her from behind.

"Don't worry about Naruto," he told her softly, smiling. She let out a sigh.

"It's just," she whispered, and Minato looked at her, waiting for her to continue speaking. "Did you see that boy? He just…"

Minato still waited for her to finish, but she only shook her head.

"I just don't want my baby getting hurt again," she uttered quietly, tears forming in her eyes.

It was Minato's turn to sigh. He didn't want that either, but he didn't think she needed to worry so much. "It'll be okay, darling." He kissed her on the lips softly, calming her a little. The two went back into the kitchen after that.

—

Naruto looked for something dry for the both of them to wear, but Sasuke refused any clothes Naruto offered him. Naruto asked him why he was declining everything Naruto offered.

"I barely know you," Sasuke reminded the blond with a sigh. "We literally just met like an hour or two ago at most. Besides, I want to go home. My brother is there."

"Oh, come on, Sasuke," Naruto whined, holding out some clothes. "Just change into these, have dinner with us, and then if you want to go home, I'll take you."

"I'm not hungry," Sasuke tried, but Naruto narrowed his eyes, glaring. Sasuke glared back.

"Will you just stop being a jerk already?!"

"I want to go home, stupid. I don't want to know you nor your family. I don't want to be your friend. I don't even want to live in this stupid world anymore, but when I tried to leave, you had to come and screw that up for me."

Naruto was angry. "You're a selfish bastard, you know that?"

Sasuke scowled, turning away. He had nothing else to say to this idiot. He threw open the door and stormed down the stairs, making his way to the front door while ignoring the stares from Naruto's family.

He heard Naruto coming down the stairs as well. "Sasuke, damn it, wait!" The blond shouted, running outside.

Sasuke was already storming off down the driveway, but Naruto caught up to him, grabbing his shoulder. He shrugged it off, continuing to stomp away. This time, Naruto grabbed his arm.

"Damn it, let me go," Sasuke growled, glaring harshly at the blond boy. Naruto shook his head.

"I will, but only if you just come back inside, please," Naruto said, sighing. He didn't want Sasuke to leave and do something reckless. It didn't matter that they barely knew each other. Naruto cared.

"Leave me alone," the raven snapped, trying to pry Naruto's hand off his arm to free it.

"I can't do that."

"Why the hell not?"

Naruto just stared at Sasuke for a moment, trying to think of a good answer.

'It's because I want to save you…'

"I don't know…" He said, letting go of Sasuke's arm, staring at the ground sadly. Why couldn't he just let Sasuke go? It's not like he really knew anything about him at all.

Sasuke let out a sigh. "I'll have dinner with you and your parents, but you have to take me home after, alright? Otherwise, I'm just going to walk home now."

"No! Stay… Please."

Naruto lead Sasuke back inside, and everyone was staring at them oddly as they walked towards the table.

"What's for dinner?" Naruto asked happily, and Kushina set down her pan again, taking off her apron.

"Chicken and rice," she uttered, watching as her son sat down in his seat. She sat down too.

"Sit," Naruto told Sasuke through a mouthful of food (which Kushina slapped him upside the head for), who felt really out of place. Sasuke didn't know these people. He didn't feel comfortable here.

"It's okay if there isn't enough for me," Sasuke murmured to Kushina as he sat down, staring blankly at the table. "I'm not very hungry anyway."

"You can have some of mine if there isn't enough," Naruto said, shoving his plate towards Sasuke, who shoved it back with a 'No, thanks'. "Come on! You probably need it. You're so skinny!"

"Naruto, don't force him," Kushina reproached the blond. "He doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to."

"But—"

"I'm fine," Sasuke interjected quietly, cutting Naruto off. He was just ready to go home at this point.

They all (except Sasuke, of course) ate in silence, and when they were finished, Naruto took Sasuke home. Longer ride than they expected.

"So this is where you live, huh?" The blond asked as they pulled up. Sasuke didn't answer as he stepped out of the car, watching with narrowed eyes as his brother came outside.

"Thanks for the ride, I guess," Sasuke said quickly through the window after slamming the car door. Naruto smiled, about to reply when Sasuke spoke again. "After you leave, just… don't come back here, Naruto. Stay away and leave me alone from now on. Goodbye."

Naruto's smile faded quickly, and he watched as Sasuke's brother came closer and Sasuke got farther away.

"Sasuke, where have you been?" The raven's brother asked calmly, and Sasuke glared.

"None of your damn business, Itachi," the younger brother snapped harshly, walking inside. Itachi stared at the door for a moment before turning to Naruto.

"Thank you for bringing him home," he said, smiling. "I was worried – he's been gone all day. Wonder what he was up to."

"You're welcome," Naruto replied a bit distractedly. "He's been with me for a while, but before that…" Naruto trailed off. "Just keep an eye on him, yeah?"

The door opened, and a silver haired guy came outside, waving at Naruto, even though Naruto didn't know him.

"Of course. And you are?"

"Naruto. You?"

"Itachi. That, back there is Kakashi, my boyfriend."

"Oh, okay. Well, it was nice meeting you."

With a smile, Itachi and Kakashi disappeared inside. Naruto sat there awhile, just staring at nothing in particular.

"I don't give up that easy, Sasuke," he murmured to himself, promising himself he wouldn't give up on Sasuke. "I'm going to save you. Even if you don't want it."

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter c:


	4. Four

The next day, Sasuke decided to head out again. He didn't know where to go, but he didn't want to be home.

He began walking, but suddenly, a familiar car pulled up beside him.

"What the hell do you want, Naruto?" He sighed irritatedly when the car stopped. "I thought I told you to stay away."

"I don't give up that easy," Naruto told him, repeating the words he'd said to himself the night before with a bright, irritating smile and a wink.

"Of course you don't," Sasuke grumbled, continuing to walk down the side of the road. Naruto followed along side of him.

"Have lunch with me!" Naruto shouted cheerily all of a sudden. Sasuke just wanted to punch him.

"Why the hell do you have to be so damn annoying?"

"Please Sasuke?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. He didn't ask for this. He wanted to just kill himself in peace, but then this blond idiot had to waltz into his life and ruin everything.

"If I say yes yet again, will you finally leave me alone for once? That's all I want."

Naruto thought about it for a brief moment. "How about I don't make any promises so you won't be more pissed later, when I would've ended up breaking said promises," he replied cheekily, chuckling.

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head. He then got inside the car. "Just go, idiot," he murmured, frowning.

Naruto grinned before driving off. They went to a small cafe nearby for lunch. They sat across each other at a small table after ordering.

Sasuke took a small bite of the fresh spinach and tomato in his salad, not really in the mood to talk all that much.

"So," Naruto commenced, taking a sip of his tea. "Tell me about yourself."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What do you want to know, exactly?"

Naruto shrugged. "Tell me the story of your life," he said, smiling happily, and Sasuke snorted. "Tell me what's on your mind. What do you think about? How old are you? When's your birthday and what's your favorite color? Who is Sasuke Uchiha?"

"Hn, well there's not much to tell."

"Tell me whatever there is to know about you."

Sasuke sighed. "Well, my parents died when I was young, and so my brother has taken care of me. I never had any real friends because none of them actually cared about me as a person. Over time, I began to realize what a waste of time life actually is. Like I said before, life just isn't worth living. My life became dull, and I found myself becoming somewhat devoid of any emotions other than anger or irritation, and the occasional sadness/depression."

"But life is worth living though. Why can't you see that?"

Sasuke didn't answer, so Naruto decided to ask something else.

"How old are you?" He asked then, smiling a little.

"Eighteen," Sasuke responded, taking another bite of his salad.

"Same here." Naruto finished the noodles he had, setting the bowl aside.

"Hn."

"For me, I didn't have any friends until the end of middle school," Naruto began, chewing on his lip. "But three years ago, I met my best friend. He and I… we just… connected, I guess. And I just… well anyway, I…"

Sasuke stared at the blond, waiting for him to continue.

"I have some good friends now who look out for me and stuff, and I'm happy. I enjoy living life, and I want to make you enjoy living it, too. I want to change your mind about life."

Sasuke let out a sigh. "You can try all you want, but I don't think you'll be able to change my mind."

"We'll see."

—

"Hey, Sasuke."

"What?"

"Me and my friends are all going swimming since it's so hot out, and I want you to come and join us."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, who sat down. "What?"

"This way you can also meet my friends."

The two had only known each other for two weeks at this point, and Naruto finally made Sasuke realize that he wasn't giving up on being Sasuke's friend, and said that Sasuke would just have to get over it. The two weren't exactly friends, but they weren't quite acquaintances either.

Naruto had seen Sasuke every single day since they met, and he planned to see him every day after until god knows when.

"No, thanks."

Naruto just gave Sasuke this confused look. "No?" He asked, not quite expecting that answer, but at the same time, it was expected.

"No," Sasuke said again, continuing to lie back and read the book he had been reading when Naruto barged into his home unexpectedly (and rather rudely).

"But—"

"No."

"Please?" Naruto whined, pouting.

Sasuke glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "What part of 'no' do you not understand?"

Naruto crossed his arms almost like a defiant child would. Then he got an idea. "If you don't want to swim, you can still come and just read your book! Please say yes! I want you to meet my friends!"

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, too! And if you don't agree to come, then I can just stay here and annoy you!" Naruto grinned, but Sasuke scowled.

The raven then sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine, I'll go…" He grumbled, slamming his book shut and moving to sit up.

"Okay!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping up on his feet. "Just get changed and meet me outside."

Naruto didn't wait for Sasuke to respond before he took off outside. Sasuke slowly made his way upstairs to get changed into something cooler.

—

Soon enough, they were on their way to a public pool Naruto was familiar with, where they'd meet up with Naruto's friends.

Once they arrived, Naruto noticed everyone was already there and cursed to himself. He didn't want to be the last to show up.

He and Sasuke stepped out of the car, getting the extra stuff Naruto brought out of the hatch.

"Hey, Naruto!" A pink haired girl exclaimed cheerily, waving. "Who's your friend?"

"Hey, Sakura!" The blond replied just as cheerily, which was slightly annoying in Sasuke's opinion. "This is Sasuke. You know, the one I told you about."

Sakura gave Sasuke a bit of a once-over. "Oh, I see…" Sakura murmured, smiling. She held out her hand. "Hi there, Sasuke, I'm Sakura. Nice to meet you."

Sasuke hesitantly shook her hand (after Naruto elbowed him in the side). She giggled a bit, and Naruto chuckled as well. Sasuke just glared at the both of them.

"Everyone else is already over by the pool," Sakura told the blond, who nodded. "We got lucky today – no one else is here besides us."

"Awesome," Naruto said, grinning, he and Sasuke following Sakura as the three of them walked through the gate and to the pool.

Naruto had Sakura help him put on sunscreen, and Sasuke put some on his own face.

Naruto made sure Sasuke met all of his friends that could come: Kiba, Lee, Neji, Hinata, Sai, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Temari, and Naruto's cousin Karin. Also Sakura, who Sasuke already met.

All were having a good (or in Sasuke's case, somewhat decent, he supposed) time, until Sasuke got up to get something to drink.

Someone (Kiba) thought it would be funny to screw around to get Sasuke all riled up by pushing him into the water and soaking him. Someone else (Naruto) thought it'd be funny to push Kiba into the water before he could push Sasuke. That didn't work out well.

When Naruto pushed Kiba, he and Sasuke both fell into the water. Kiba used Sasuke to get to the surface. Not intentionally – it was just sort of like an instinct. But Sasuke ran out of air before he got to the surface.

Naruto was laughing until he realized Sasuke hadn't come up yet. He worriedly looked around in the water before he decided to just dive in.

He grabbed Sasuke by the waist and swam to the surface with him, having someone help get Sasuke out of the water so he, too, could get out.

"He's not breathing," Sakura said worriedly, and Naruto sort of pushed her out of the way to get to Sasuke. He began performing CPR on the raven immediately.

"Come on, Sasuke, breathe, dammit…" He murmured worriedly, trying to get Sasuke to just breathe and not die on him.

Naruto gave Sasuke the kiss of life, but it wasn't quite working. He repeated all of his actions a couple of times until Sasuke was coughing up water and his eyes were fluttering open.

Everything was fuzzy and the sun was in his eyes, but all Sasuke saw when he woke up was Naruto. He almost looked angelic.

"Thank god," Naruto breathed out, wiping the water and sweat off his forehead. "I had to give you CPR to get you to finally wake up."

Sasuke said nothing; he only looked around from where he lay on the poolside.

"I even had to give you mouth-to-mouth."

Sasuke's eyes quickly flicked to the blond, his eyes narrowing as a light shade of pink crept across his pale cheeks.

He'd never kissed someone before. He felt… somehow robbed, in a way, and it made him upset. He knew he shouldn't count it as a real kiss, especially since he wasn't conscious, but… he couldn't help it.

"Just… shut up," Sasuke mumbled before he let himself get too angry, sitting up (with the help of Naruto).

"I feel terrible, it was my fault," Naruto murmured, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It was an accident," Sakura said, smiling a bit. "Everything's okay now."

"Yeah, thankfully," Karin agreed from somewhere behind Sasuke.

"I think I'm ready to go home," Sasuke said quietly, and Naruto chuckled a little.

"Yeah, I don't blame you," the blond replied, standing and helping Sasuke stand as well. "I'll take you."

Sasuke only nodded, and so the blond packed up the stuff he brought and the two left.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on chapter 5 and it'll be up soon probably c:


	5. Five

The ride back to Sasuke's house was mostly full of silence. Sasuke stared out the window, and Naruto just kept his eyes on the road.

Although, the blond decided to break the silence. "Are you feeling okay?" He asked softly, glancing briefly at the raven.

Sasuke shrugged. "I should've mentioned beforehand that I can't swim," he uttered, closing his eyes.

"You can't swim?" Naruto queried, and Sasuke nodded. "You should've told me. I would've never asked you to go. Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't think I'd be getting into the water anyway."

Naruto sighed out. "I'm sorry."

Sasuke shrugged again. "It's whatever, I guess."

"One day, maybe I can teach you or something."

Sasuke looked at him. "Uh, yeah, no thanks."

"Why not?" Naruto asked, chuckling.

Sasuke didn't answer.

When they arrived at the raven's house, Sasuke got out of the car. "Bye, Sasuke," Naruto said, grinning. "I'll see you soon!"

Sasuke held up a hand and half waved, walking towards his front door. He glanced back slightly and watched Naruto drive away.

—

It had been only a couple of days since they went to the pool. Naruto hadn't shown up at Sasuke's house, since – due to his family wanting to spend time with him – he went camping with his family.

When he excitedly showed up at Sasuke's house the day after he got home, having the day all planned out for them, he was greeted by Itachi, who looked very tired.

"Hey Itachi!" Naruto said, grinning in his usual manner. "Is Sasuke home?"

Itachi let out a sigh. "No, I'm afraid he's not," he murmured, shifting from one foot to the other.

Naruto was a bit confused – his eyebrows furrowed. "He's not?"

Kakashi came to the door, wrapping his arms around his dark haired lover. "No, he's not," Itachi said softly, leaning into Kakashi's touch. "He's at the hospital."

Naruto's eyes widened, his heartbeat increased and his lips parted in shock. "Don't tell me…"

"He tried to kill himself two days ago," Itachi murmured sadly. "I found him unconscious in his room with an empty pill bottle in his hand."

Naruto felt the anxiety building up within himself. It felt like he couldn't breathe. 'He isn't… dead… is he…?'

Itachi brought Naruto inside, giving him a glass of water and making him sit down. "Calm down, Naruto. Keep your breathing even."

It took Naruto a good five minutes of troubled thoughts and increasing anxiety to finally become able to ask if Sasuke was still alive or dead. Part of him didn't want to know in case Sasuke had actually died.

Itachi nodded. "He's still alive, thank god." Naruto breathed out a sigh of relief at this. "I just got home this morning so I had time to do the things I needed to do before work."

"I need to go see him," Naruto said suddenly, eyes still wide, standing up. "Thank you for telling me, Itachi. I'll be going now."

"I understand."

He quickly left, driving to the hospital. He was worrying beyond belief still, despite the fact that he knew Sasuke was still alive. He just couldn't help himself. And never once did he think that Sasuke would try something while he was away. He should've considered it, but he didn't.

Once at the hospital, he asked which room was Sasuke's. The nurse told him, and Naruto quickly went to the elevator. When he arrived on the third floor, he quickly found room 237 and went inside.

Sasuke was sleeping, and Naruto thought he looked somewhat peaceful, lying there. The blond quickly seated himself beside the bed. 

"You're such an idiot," he muttered, although rather sadly, not really sure if he was talking to himself or Sasuke. He shook his head, deciding it didn't matter – they both were idiots.

He found himself grabbing Sasuke's hand, holding it tightly. "Why?" He whispered, squeezing the raven's pale hand. "Why are you so hell-bent on dying? Why can't you realize that you have at least two people that care so damn much about you?"

—

Sasuke awoke about thirty minutes later to find Naruto, half asleep, holding his hand. He sighed, causing the blond to lift his head, his eyes fully opening.

"What are you doing here, Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "I'd so hit you right now if you weren't in this situation."

Sasuke didn't say anything, so Naruto kept talking. "Do you realize how worried I was before your brother told me you were still alive? I was thinking the worst possible! I was freaking out!"

"Whatever."

"Whatever?! That's all you have to say?!"

Sasuke shrugged, and Naruto couldn't stop himself from standing up, reaching over and slapping Sasuke across the face.

Both of them were rather shocked that Naruto did that.

"You're such an asshole," Naruto said quietly, sitting back down. Sasuke only stared at him. "I don't think you realize that I actually give a damn about you. Either that, or you just don't care."

Sasuke looked off. "I don't think that you realize that I'm done, Naruto. I'm done living a life I don't want! I'm tired of it! Why do you keep trying?!"

"I keep trying because I don't want you to toss your life away like it means nothing to those around you! It means something to me!"

"Oh, give me a fucking break."

"Just stop being stupid and shut up."

And Sasuke did, too tired to keep arguing. The two of them calmed down and Naruto fell asleep in the chair until visiting hours were over. He said goodbye to Sasuke and actually hugged him. Sasuke briefly, very briefly – yet it was enough to put a smile on Naruto's face – hugged him back.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be out like a week ago but I got busy, oops cx


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this isn't the best chapter. I tried to make it better, but I also have other things to work on. ♡ hope you enjoy anyway. c:

Sasuke was put under suicide watch in the mental ward for about a month. Naruto visited every single day and picked Sasuke up the day they let him out.

The blond took the raven to lunch. Sasuke didn't really talk much at all, but he at least thanked Naruto. The aforementioned asked Sasuke to come over to his house and Sasuke somewhat accepted.

Naruto was happy about that. That meant he was getting somewhere.

When they arrived, Naruto mentioned that his uncle Nagato and Karin – which was his daughter – would be coming over for dinner. He also said Sakura was coming too.

When the others finally showed up, Sakura and Karin went up to the room Karin slept in when she was over to 'talk about girl stuff or something', and Naruto and Sasuke decided to watch a movie while Kushina and Tsunade made dinner and the older guys talked at the kitchen table.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke, who looked like he was thinking about something. Yet Naruto didn't pry. He didn't want to upset Sasuke. So, instead, he just watched him with a small smile on his face.

"Dinner's ready!" Kushina called out after a while. "Naruto, come and help me set the table!" Naruto looked at Sasuke then.

"Would you go get Sakura and Karin while I go do that?" He asked, and Sasuke nodded and went upstairs while Naruto went into the kitchen.

Sasuke went and found Karin's room, knocking on the door, but he got no answer. "Hey, dinner is ready," he murmured, knocking again. When he still got no answer, he opened the door to find Sakura and Karin making out on Karin's bed. Not what he was expecting. His eyes widened and then he cleared his throat.

Sakura pulled away from the other girl, eyes also wide. "S- Sasuke!" She exclaimed, feeling slightly embarrassed, a blush covering her cheeks.

"Dinner is ready," Sasuke said quietly, turning slightly. "Naruto asked me to come and get you…" He stood there for a brief moment before he began to walk away, but before he could, Sakura jumped up and grabbed his arm, dragging him inside the room and shutting the door.

"Look, Sasuke…" She said lowly, scratching the back of her head. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Sakura sighed. "Please don't tell Naruto, or anybody else. Karin and I just aren't ready for anyone to know yet. We haven't really figured everything out just yet and so we want to see if this will work out first and stuff."

He looked at her questioningly. "Why would I tell anyone?" He asked, and Sakura just shrugged, looking at the floor. "I have nothing to gain from it. Besides, I don't really care anyway."

Sakura only smiled, hugging the raven, who just about pushed her off of him. He didn't really like people invading his space when it wasn't at all necessary. Sometimes he accepted hugs, but it depended on who the person was. He barely knew Sakura.

As it was, he barely knew Naruto still, and he still was only barely accepting hugs.

"Thanks so much," the pink haired girl said happily as she pulled away. "We really appreciate it."

Karin nodded in agreement and Sasuke began to feel slightly uncomfortable at this point. He quickly left the room and found Naruto at the base of the stairs.

"Hey, what took you so long?" The blond asked, grinning. "I was about to come and find you." Sasuke shook his head, stepping past the other.

"It was nothing."

Naruto's smile faltered, but it was right back again as he threw an arm around an unprepared Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke fell, and Naruto fell with him.

Or more like on top of him. Sasuke let out a soft groan of discomfort and Naruto chuckled.

"Yikes, sorry, Sasuke," the blond murmured, still grinning. He stared at Sasuke for a moment, and Sasuke stared back. Naruto then suddenly lay his head on Sasuke's chest; he could just feel and hear Sasuke's heart beating, and he could feel him breathing and he was just so happy for that. He didn't want to lose Sasuke. He was already too attached to him.

"Naruto… could you get off of me?" Sasuke asked breathlessly, a tad annoyed.

Naruto sat up, laughing a little. "Sorry. I just realized how much I love your heartbeat."

Sasuke felt his face heat up marginally, and he looked away, eyes narrowing. Naruto wasn't going to make him feel guilty about his choices and the blond certainly wasn't going to get anywhere by making Sasuke feel like he was, like, wanted, or something…

The two finally got up off of the floor just as Sakura and Karin came downstairs, and they all went to go eat the dinner that Kushina made.

—

After dinner, Naruto offered to take Sasuke home so he could see his brother and sleep in his own bed, so that's what happened. Naruto drove Sasuke home, but instead of just thanking the blond and getting out, Sasuke had invited Naruto inside.

The two walked into the seemingly empty house. "Itachi and Kakashi must've gone out to dinner or something," Sasuke murmured, sighing out. He turned on the lamp next to the couch and shut off the bigger light.

"Ah, so what did you want to do?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke only shrugged as he took off his shoes.

"We could watch another movie or something, if you want," the raven suggested, and Naruto nodded, taking his shoes off as well. The blond walked over to the shelf of movies and picked one out for them to watch, putting it in.

They sat next to each other and watched the movie. About halfway through, however, Sasuke fell asleep against Naruto's shoulder. Naruto smiled and finished the movie.

Itachi and Kakashi came home a bit later to find the both of them passed out. Itachi smiled and shook his head, covering them with a blanket before he and Kakashi went to bed.

—

Sasuke woke up cuddled up against the blond, who was still asleep. His eyes fluttered open and he sighed out; it'd been a while since he'd slept so peacefully. He felt his face heat up at the realization while he listened to Naruto's soft heartbeat. Then he sat up, glaring at Naruto.

"Idiot," he whispered. He'd then gotten up to get something to eat for breakfast.

Naruto woke up about a half an hour later, and didn't see Sasuke anywhere. He sat up, rubbing his eyes when Sasuke emerged from the bathroom – just having showered – and saw Naruto was awake.

"You hungry?" The raven asked, walking into the kitchen for a moment. He came back out with a plate of pancakes and held them out to the blond.

"Thank you," Naruto uttered rather cheerfully. He took the pancakes and began to eat them and Sasuke sat down. "These are really good!"

"Hn, I think Kakashi made them…"

Naruto smiled and then finished eating. He put his plate in the sink and then went back into the living room to put his shoes on.

"My parents are probably worried since I didn't go back home last night," he said, and Sasuke nodded. "So, yeah, I'm gonna get going. I'll probably come back later though."

Naruto left after that, and Sasuke left about two hours later, just before Itachi and Kakashi came home. He just went for a walk – going nowhere specific (he didn't feel like being home when Itachi and Kakashi both would come back from work).

He went to this little meadow that had this pretty cherry blossom tree that provided nice shade, not far from where he lived, and sat beneath the tree, and closed his eyes. Before he even realized it, he'd fallen asleep.

—

He woke up and it was nearly dark. He must've been tired if he'd slept for so long.

He had yet another dream about dying, and he sighed. He had been close to death twice recently (the pool incident, which had been an accident, and the pill incident, which had been a desperate attempt at suicide), but… he kept failing.

He just didn't understand why Naruto was trying so hard when it was all pointless anyway. Sasuke planned on trying to kill himself again, and when he did… he'd make sure no one could stop him.

Though, he'd probably have to make everyone think he wasn't planning anything when he really was…

But what did he have to live for anyway, he wondered for the billionth time. His parents were dead, his relationship with Itachi was a broken mess… Having Naruto around wasn't even helping him. It wasn't going to make him change his mind either.

Naruto didn't give up so easily, Sasuke realized, and it was sort of annoying but slowly, Sasuke was getting used to it. He was getting used to having the idiot around.

Unfortunately.

He wondered why Naruto cared. More than likely it was because he felt bad or something, and Sasuke didn't need that. He didn't want someone to feel bad for him.

He didn't want Naruto to care about him either. It would make it just the tiniest bit easier to leave.

But no matter what, he would leave. It was just a matter of when.

Sasuke just closed his eyes and stayed buried in his thoughts for a little while. He left a little after it got dark.

When Sasuke arrived at his house, he walked in to find himself being engulfed in a tight hug by none other than Naruto.

"Naruto… what… the hell…? I can't… breathe…"

Naruto pulled away, chuckling sheepishly. "Sorry, I was just worried about you."

The raven stared at the blond. "You shouldn't worry about me so much…" Sasuke murmured, looking away. Naruto touched his shoulder and the raven looked back at the blond.

"I'll try not to, it's just…"

Sasuke waited patiently for him to continue.

"I am afraid of losing you… I…"

Sasuke's lips parted and Naruto pulled him into another hug, but Sasuke pushed him away slowly, his eyes narrowing.

"Enough with the hugs already…" He murmured, and Naruto chuckled again, but then his laughter died and then only a small smile remained on his face.

"And you know…" Naruto listened as the raven spoke, his voice soft. "You should stop automatically assuming I'm going to kill myself when you're not around."

Naruto's lips parted at that, but he knew that was true. He just couldn't help but to worry immensely that Sasuke would end up… like…

"Anyway," Sasuke uttered, sitting down, and Naruto sat down beside him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to see if you wanted to come over again or something. Do you?"

Sasuke only shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for that."

"Oh…" Naruto stood then, smiling a little. "I'll just be heading out, then."

"Okay."

Naruto left after that.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, also sorry it's a bit late, I suck at updating ;-;


	7. Seven

They ended up not seeing each other the next day, which was a bit strange; Sasuke was used to seeing the annoying blond every day.

But then Naruto showed up the day after.

He showed up with a smile, one that Sasuke hated and looked forward to at the same time.

Sasuke curiously asked the blond why he hadn't come the day before, and Naruto seemed to get nervous and jittery.

"I had something important to take care of… don't worry about it," he said, a sheepish smile on his face. Sasuke only raised an eyebrow, and didn't question Naruto's behavior.

"Before you decide if we're going anywhere or not, I need to take a shower," Sasuke murmured, and Naruto gave a nod. Sasuke went into the bathroom to shower, leaving Naruto by himself.

After about five minutes of not doing anything, the door to the bathroom opened. "Hey, Naruto?" The raven called out.

"Yeah, Sasuke?" Naruto replied, waiting for a response.

"Can you grab my towel from my room for me? It's navy blue."

"Yeah, sure, be right there."

Naruto got up and went to Sasuke's room, looking for the towel, but he couldn't seem to find it. He took a moment to admire Sasuke's room – it was nice.

He walked over to Sasuke's nightstand, picking up a small black book and opening it.

He knew this was wrong. He shouldn't be going through someone's stuff without their permission, but the boy was curious.

He somewhat skimmed through the pages. What was written on them were Sasuke's recent dreams, his feelings, and various other things. It was some pretty depressing stuff, like words such as, "I want to know what it's like to walk away from this life."

"Going through my brother's things, huh?"

Naruto jumped at the sound of Itachi's deep voice and closed the book, dropping it back onto the nightstand.

"I- I…" Naruto uttered, turning around, blushing from embarrassment. "Itachi… no, I… I wasn't…"

Itachi laughed softly. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him, but… you really shouldn't go through someone's private things. Especially without them knowing."

"I… I know that… I was just…" Naruto tried to explain himself, but Itachi waved it aside.

"Don't bother trying to explain yourself. I know why you did it. You were curious about my brother and why he is the way he is, and why he does the things he does."

Naruto's lips parted. Itachi was right.

"But trust me when I say you're probably going to have a tough time figuring it out. Sasuke is a difficult person. He keeps a wall between him and everyone else, not wanting anyone to get close."

Naruto nodded. He understood. He was trying to figure Sasuke out, but it was hard when Sasuke didn't want anyone to get close.

"I hope you can get through to him and change his mind about suicide," Itachi said softly, leaning against the doorframe, "Do what I failed to do, since Sasuke always pushed me away. All he needs is someone like you to be there and help him."

Naruto nodded again. "I know, but… Sasuke keeps pushing me away, too. I want to change his mind, but it's difficult when he keeps me at arms length. He won't let me understand him."

"He's my brother and he won't let me understand him either. Just… please keep trying to get through to him."

"I know… I will…"

Itachi smiled. "Thank you. Now, get what Sasuke asked you to get and don't snoop around anymore, okay?"

Naruto blushed again. "Okay… sorry…"

Naruto grabbed the towel and followed Itachi out. The blond went to the bathroom and knocked on the door, but Sasuke was already showering.

"Sasuke, I have your towel," Naruto said loud enough to be heard over the water. He opened the door and set the towel on the sink counter. "I'm just going to leave it beside your clothes, okay?"

"Yeah, but what took you so long?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto stared at the Uchiha's pale figure through the somewhat blurry glass shower door, blushing again, because of the fact that he was talking to a naked Sasuke who was showering, and the fact that he'd been snooping through Sasuke's things.

"I got caught up talking to your brother," he half-lied, and he knew Sasuke was rolling his eyes.

"Of course you would."

"Yeah, sorry."

Suddenly, the water was shutting off and the glass door was opening, revealing all of Sasuke's pale skin, and Naruto has to avert his eyes, his cheeks still a bright pink.

Sasuke reached for his towel, his arm brushing against Naruto's. He wrapped the towel around his waist and Naruto stepped backwards, out of the bathroom.

"I'll leave you to it," he said, and Sasuke just shut the door.

When Sasuke finished dressing, he emerged from the bathroom and Naruto stood up.

"So I have something I have planned for today, but we've got to stop by my house first…" Naruto uttered, and then the two stepped outside.

They left, and Naruto asked Sasuke to wait in his bedroom while he got some things ready, claiming it was a surprise. Sasuke did so, sitting in the blond's room, which was, unsurprisingly, not clean. There were clothes everywhere.

Sasuke looked on the blond's nightstand, where he found a picture of Naruto and a bright-red haired boy. He furrowed his eyebrows. He hadn't seen this boy before when he met Naruto's friends. He decided that perhaps he couldn't come that day.

The frame had obviously been customized. The words 'Naruto and Gaara' had been engraved on it, beneath the picture.

They looked so happy, and yet Sasuke never once heard Naruto mention the red haired boy in this picture.

Sasuke decided that he'd just ask about it later.

He set the picture down when he heard Naruto coming, and stood up. They went back to the car, and then they were off.

Sasuke didn't recognize the place he was brought to. The two of them got out, and that's when Naruto told him of the 'surprise'.

"I got together stuff to have a little picnic with you."

Sasuke stared at him, but then he found himself chuckling slightly because he figured that would be something Naruto would do.

And so the two had a little picnic, and Sasuke, for once, didn't complain. They sat together and just relaxed.

Everything was going well.

For now.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long ;~; I hope you enjoy anyways


	8. Eight

A week went by, and Naruto felt as if no real progress with Sasuke had been made since. Sasuke was still acting the same.

Naruto wondered if he was still was suicidal, but he figured that was the case – Sasuke was still distant, and Naruto noticed he often spaced out as if he was lost in his own dark world.

But Sasuke was actually thinking about a lot of things. For starters, who was Gaara? Why hadn't Naruto mentioned him? And also what was Naruto's reason for sticking around? It couldn't possibly just be out of the goodness of his heart.

And Sasuke didn't know how to feel. He did not know how to go about things anymore.

Sasuke just wanted to be left alone so leaving this stupid world could be easier, but Naruto refused to leave him alone. Naruto stuck around and it drove Sasuke insane to no end, but part of him… part of him felt a tiny ounce of happiness that Naruto actually cared enough to put up with him daily. Even Itachi couldn't do that.

Part of Sasuke really wanted to believe that Naruto was some sort of ridiculous guardian angel sent to protect him and change his mind, but of course Sasuke knew it wasn't the case. Naruto couldn't be doing this for no reason.

Sasuke decided he needed a break from the blond to think about things. He left, but left a note saying he'd be back soon so Naruto and Itachi and perhaps Kakashi didn't worry too much.

He found himself knocking on his grandfather's door and was greeted by his uncle. Obito smiled cheerfully as he let Sasuke inside.

"Hey, Sasuke, what brings you here?" He asked, shutting the door and leading Sasuke into the kitchen for some tea. "How have you been feeling?"

Obito knew how he was feeling, but didn't let Sasuke know that; Obito and Kakashi and Itachi all stayed in touch.

"Okay, I guess," Sasuke replied, shrugging, sighing out tiredly. Obito gave a slight nod, pouring Sasuke a cup of tea. "And I'm here because I needed a break away from home. Mind if I stay a day or two or something?"

"I understand," Obito said, smiling sadly. "And no, we don't mind. Oh, and your grandfather is in the other room there." He made a gesture with his hand and Sasuke nodded.

"I suppose I should go say hello," he murmured, getting up and walking towards the door to the other room.

"You two fucking cheat," Sasuke heard his grandfather say from the other side of the door before the young Uchiha walked in, watching as Madara threw his playing cards onto the table angrily, pointing an accusing finger at the others. "Especially you, Hashirama. No one can be this good without cheating, but I know your rat of a brother is a damn cheat too."

"I'm not a rat, nor a cheat," the white haired man said, glaring at Madara.

"And I'm not cheating either, Madara," the other man – Hashirama – said, smiling. "I'm just that good. Don't be such a sore loser now or I might have to teach you a lesson." And then he winked.

"Elder brother…!"

"Hashirama, you little–"

Sasuke cleared his throat then, not wanting to hear any more. He caught the attention of the three other men in the room, who were now all looking at him. "Hey, Granddad," he said, waving slightly. "I'm staying here for a little while to get away from home."

"Hello, Sasuke. Long time no see."

"Well, anyways, I'll let you get back to your… game… or whatever the hell you were doing when I came in…"

"Wait a moment," Madara said, crossing his arms and turning towards Sasuke a little. "Now what's this about you having to go to the hospital for a drug overdose over a month ago now?"

Sasuke tried to avoid the older man's intense, serious stare, and Obito came rushing into the room. "Dad, shut up. Leave him alone about it, won't you?"

"So Itachi told you…" Sasuke sighed out, and Obito looked at him sadly, about to speak but was interrupted.

"Of course he fucking did," Madara snapped, narrowing his eyes. "You tried to commit suicide. How stupid are you?"

"Should we leave?" Hashirama asked, looking between Madara, his brother Tobirama and Sasuke, and Madara silenced him with a glare.

"No. I want a rematch on that game, but I'm talking to my grandson at the moment, so hold on a damn second."

He turned back to Sasuke, who was glaring at him. "Come over here," he then said, beckoning his grandson over.

Sasuke did so, and Obito had a perplexed expression on his face, watching just as Madara stood, stared right into Sasuke's eyes and slapped him across the face.

It hurt, and yet it reminded Sasuke of Naruto.

"You idiot. End up in the hospital again and I'll do worse than that, you hear?"

Sasuke didn't say anything, and Obito lead him out of the room, shooting his father, who huffed, sat back down and turned his attention back to the two at the card table, a glare.

"I'm sorry about that," Obito murmured, sighing, as he and Sasuke sat back down in the kitchen, at the dining table. "You know how he is though. I just… I didn't think he'd bring it up. I'm sorry. But… why did you try to kill yourself anyway?"

"I don't want to live," Sasuke replied simply, emotionlessly, so much so that Obito felt somehow sadder.

"Perhaps you should see a therapist," Obito suggested, and Sasuke shook his head, a sour expression on his face.

"No, I've already got an annoying blond who checks up on me everyday."

"Oh, a girlfriend…? What's she like?"

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head. "No, it's a guy. And he's annoying, like I said. I assumed if Itachi told you about the hospital he'd tell you about Naruto."

"Itachi didn't. And his name is Naruto? Your boyfriend?"

"No, Uncle Obito. He's not my boyfriend. He's just… I don't know… A friend I don't want but at the same time, I do want."

"Why is that?"

"It's because he drives me fucking insane and he doesn't help me like he wants to, and it's sad because he really thinks he's helping, and he's stupid. I fucking pretend that I'm okay now because I need him off my back for a second, but he's still there, and just… it's annoying…"

"But…?"

Sasuke sighed. "But… at the same time, it's oddly comforting to know that he cares and wants to spend time with me, and that each day when I wake up, he'll be back to want to take me places and do things with me. But part of me thinks he's sticking around for some reason I don't understand yet, because I don't feel that he's only sticking with me because he's just that kind. There has to be more to it than that. I don't doubt though, that he cares about me at least a little now, but still."

"But what if there is no more to it than that? What it he truly is just that kind?"

"Hn… I don't know but…" Sasuke looked away, somewhere off in the distance for a minute. "I don't really care anymore, because one day I'll just be gone."

Obito's lips parted. "Sasuke, don't say such things. You can't kill yourself."

"Want to watch me?" Sasuke asked darkly, eyes narrowed and Obito sadly shook his head.

"I'd be devastated if you took your own life."

"Would you?"

"Yes, I would. So would your brother, Kakashi, your grandfather and this Naruto. You have us to confide in, to spill your feelings to, no matter how depressing they may be. We'll listen. We love you."

"Whatever. No matter what, I'll still kill myself. Nothing and no one will stop me. I don't care if it's selfish. I'm not happy in this world. I want to die."

"Look, give Naruto a chance to maybe change your mind about all of this, won't you?"

"Why should I?"

"It's what your parents would want. They would want you to live."

"Don't talk about them."

"They're my family too, Sasuke. Your father was my much older brother. I can speak about him if I like."

"I know that, but still… I don't want to talk about them right now."

"I understand. But… Sasuke… just give Naruto a chance. Please…?"

Sasuke thought about it for a moment.

"Maybe. Maybe I'll give him a chance, but what if nothing changes? Then what? Will you let me do what I want? Will you stand by and watch as I jump off a cliff and drown?"

"No, I won't. I'll have to find a way to stop you."

"I'd like to see you try, Uncle Obito. I really would."

"Sasuke…"

"I'm going to go lie down and take a nap," Sasuke murmured, getting up from the table. "Do you mind?"

"No, go ahead. I'll let you know when dinner is ready."

"Alright."

And Sasuke left, going upstairs, leaving Obito to sit alone at the table, feeling sad.

Suddenly, Hashirama's brother, Tobirama, leaves the room they were playing cards in, walking past the table.

"I'll… see you later, Obito," he uttered, and Obito looked at him.

"Leaving so soon?" The Uchiha asked, and Tobirama nodded.

"Yes… your father and my brother are… a bit much to deal with right now."

"Oh? Alright… well… say hello to Uncle Izuna for me if you see him."

"I'll be sure to… but… are you alright?"

Obito shrugged. "It's just Sasuke."

"That kid? Is he yours?"

"No, he's my nephew."

"I see. What about him? Is it that drug overdose suicide thing Madara was talking about?"

Obito nodded. "Yeah… he's being very selfish right now and he doesn't care. Anyway… what are they doing in there that's making you leave?"

Tobirama made a face. "You don't want to know. I'll see you later."

Obito also made a face and Tobirama left after that. The Uchiha made himself some tea as he thought about his conversation with Sasuke.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh I already started another damn chapter oops cx


	9. Nine

Naruto was freaking out.

Sasuke hadn't been home in three days and wasn't answering his phone, and Naruto was worried he'd gone and killed himself somewhere. Itachi was also worrying.

Naruto left a voicemail, saying that he and Itachi were worried sick, that Sasuke better not be hurt and that he should call them back.

Itachi decided to call his uncle, who picked up the phone right away.

"Uncle Obito, have you heard from Sasuke?" He asked, and Obito could tell he was worried.

"Yeah, he's been here," the older Uchiha replied, and Itachi heaved out a sigh of relief. "I take it he didn't say where he was going when he left?"

"No, he didn't. We've been worried sick about him. He just up and left without a single word, however he did leave a note saying he'd be back."

"I see…"

"How is he? How are you and Granddad?" Itachi then asked.

"Sasuke is fine. He's just been relaxing, but not really saying a whole lot. I'm fine. I'm just saddened by Sasuke's feelings. Dad is fine too, but he's angry about what Sasuke did."

"Oh… I understand. Did he freak out about it?"

"Somewhat. He smacked Sasuke in the face. I tried to make him apologize later on for it but he was too busy eye-fucking his friend to listen."

"Oh, wow, that's… not something I cared to know… So… is Sasuke okay? He wasn't hit too hard, was he?"

"I think he's fine. However I think Sasuke needs help. He's really, really depressed. I can tell just by the way he does things. We were talking about why he wants to commit suicide but… he's just being rather selfish. Also, one day I'd like to meet this Naruto kid he mentioned was trying to help him."

"Naruto is nice. You'd like him."

"That's nice," Obito said, and Itachi could tell he was smiling.

They talked awhile longer, and eventually, when Itachi got off the phone, he told Naruto where Sasuke was so he wasn't freaking out any longer.

"I'm going to go pick him up," the Uchiha said, grabbing his keys. "You can wait here. I won't be long and Kakashi will be back shortly."

Naruto nodded, and Itachi left.

—

Itachi arrived at his uncle's and his grandfather's house, knocking on the door. When Obito answered, Itachi came in to talk a bit with Obito, greet his grandfather and talk to Sasuke, who he discovered was sleeping still.

When Sasuke did get up, he went downstairs to find his brother sitting with Obito at the kitchen table.

"Itachi, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to get you," Itachi answered, and Sasuke glared at him. "Bye, Uncle Obito. It was nice to see you."

"You too, Itachi."

Itachi stood, walking over to Sasuke.

"I'm not going," the youngest Uchiha protested, but Itachi grabbed his arm.

"You are. Naruto, Kakashi and I have been worried sick. You're coming home now."

"I left to get away from you people."

Itachi gave his brother a look. "Uh, 'you people'? We're your family."

"Naruto and Kakashi mean absolutely nothing to me, and you're just my pathetic brother, who means close to nothing to me."

Itachi's lips parted, and Obito stood. "Sasuke… that's uncalled for…"

"You… you told him I was here. Why would you do that?"

"He was worried, Sasuke. He was afraid you'd gone and killed yourself."

"Tch… whatever…"

Itachi dragged Sasuke out of the house, who was still protesting. "Listen to me, Sasuke. I'm your elder brother and despite how old you are, I need to take care of you, so you need to stop and come home."

"I don't need to fucking listen to you," Sasuke snapped, and immediately, Itachi was slapping him across the face.

Everyone seemed to like doing that to him.

"Shut up, Sasuke. Quit being a selfish brat. You're coming home. End of discussion."

Itachi pushed his brother into the backseat of the car, making sure the child safety lock was on on both doors so Sasuke couldn't get out. He then got into the car, driving off.

Sasuke climbed up into the passenger seat, attempting to get out while the car was still moving.

"Sasuke, what the hell are you doing?! Stop!"

"Let me out!"

"No!"

Sasuke unlocked the door and opened it, but Itachi reached over and pulled the door shut. Sasuke tried again, but Itachi grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him into the backseat.

Sasuke attempted to break the glass of the window, and Itachi reached back to stop him.

And then it got loud.

But then it got quiet.

—

Sasuke opened his eyes and he wasn't sure where he was.

Looking around slightly, he realized he was on the floor of the backseat of the car. His body ached, but he tried to ignore it.

He wondered where his brother was, but then he heard Itachi's phone ringing.

He got up off the floor the best he could and went to reach for the phone.

And he saw what happened.

Itachi had gone through the windshield of the car.

"Itachi?!" Sasuke shouted quickly, but Itachi didn't answer. Sasuke grabbed the phone and answered it.

"Itachi?" Came Naruto's voice, and Sasuke shakily breathed out.

"N- Naruto…?"

"Sasuke? Where's Itachi? What's going on?"

"I have to go and call an ambulance… this is all my fault…"

And the Uchiha quickly hung up, dialing the number for an ambulance.

When the paramedics arrived, they were both rushed to the hospital. Kakashi, Naruto, Obito and Madara all arrived a bit later.

The door to Sasuke's room opened, and Naruto rushed inside, hugging Sasuke trying to avoid hurting him. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling away. "What happened?"

But Sasuke didn't know how to answer. "It's all my fault," he whispered. "It's happening again and it's all my fault…"

"Sasuke?"

The Uchiha buried his face in his knees, trying to hold back his tears.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know, but at least I updated. Stupid writer's block.
> 
> P.S, I'm sorry Itachi ;-;
> 
> Also, I may be changing my fanfiction.net username from Onision to starboysasuke because i don't really like Onision anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is more like a prologue. I'll post the other three tomorrow.


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